How do I stop masturbating even after praying, reading the Bible and fasting?
When people ask questions like this, it is usually good to start by addressing the issue from its root. For an unbeliever, it is a sinful nature problem.
Romans 7:20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.(NKJV)
In Romans 7, the apostle Paul was talking about how the law, which is a set of instructions telling us what not to do, cannot help us attain purity from sin. Every human on earth has a conscience, which is one of the ways our spirit communicates with our soul. It’s either a hardened conscience (which happens over time when they keep ignoring it) or a weak conscience. Conscience is the inherent ability to differentiate between what is good and bad. That in itself is a law guiding every human being on earth today.
Romans 2:14 for when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do the things in the law, these, although not having the law, are a law to themselves,
Romans 2:15 who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them)(NKJV)
So every human has the capacity to tell what is sinful and what isn’t; they just may not be strong enough to say no to their sinful desires, which lures them away from God’s will. However, the sinful nature problem is resolved in the redemptive works of Jesus Christ.
Romans 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:3 For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh,
Romans 8:4 that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
The redemptive work of Jesus fulfilled the demand of sin, so we no longer have to fulfill the law to gain acceptance with God, but by believing in Jesus and confessing Him as our lord and savior, we are indeed saved. Also, the redemptive works of Jesus, that is, His death, burial, and resurrection, qualify us to experience the new birth. In this context, the death of Jesus signifies the death of the old sinful nature, and His resurrection signifies the beginning of the new nature.
Ephesians 2:1
And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins,
Ephesians 2:2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience,
Ephesians 2:3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
Ephesians 2:4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,
Ephesians 2:5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),
Ephesians 2:6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, (NKJV)
The new birth confirms our salvation from the sinful nature. So the final solution to sin is the salvation that we receive in Christ Jesus. However, now that you’re a Christian, there needs to be some work done for you to live the reality of who you have become in your inner man. You need to renew your mind to be transformed; to be transformed means to grow up into the full features of your nature. It’s like when a caterpillar grows into a beautiful butterfly with wings; it is a growth process during which you’re recommended to keep feeding on the word of God, which continually reaffirms to you your identity in Christ. How then does this apply to breaking free from masturbation?
Romans 6:1 Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more kindness and forgiveness?
Romans 6:2 Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?
Romans 6:3 Or have you forgotten that when we became Christians and were baptized to become one with Christ Jesus, we died with him?
Romans 6:4 For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.
Romans 6:5 Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised as he was.
Romans 6:6 Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.
Romans 6:7 For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. (NLT)
The book of Romans is so powerful that I always recommend it to those struggling with sin. You need to meditate on such words until your mind is fully purged of the garbage with which it was filled before you came to the Lord. Go back and read the above scripture again. Did you notice how it says you died to sin when Christ died to sin? The implication of this is that you now have the capacity to say no to sin. It doesn’t mean you will not be presented with the opportunity to sin. It simply means you now have the capacity to say no to your lustful desires. You can actually say no to sin and yes to God. You can actually replace sinful actions with spiritual activities like Bible study, prayer, and evangelism. See what the scripture says.
Romans 6:9 We are sure of this because Christ rose from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him.
Romans 6:10 He died once to defeat sin, and now he lives for the glory of God.
Romans 6:11 So you should consider yourselves dead to sin and able to live for the glory of God through Christ Jesus.
Romans 6:12 Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to its lustful desires.
Romans 6:13 Do not let any part of your body become a tool of wickedness, to be used for sinning. Instead, give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life. And use your whole body as a tool to do what is right for the glory of God.
Romans 6:14 Sin is no longer your master, for you are no longer subject to the law, which enslaves you to sin. Instead, you are free by God’s grace. (NLT)
You need to know that you can! With the new spirit you received on the inside of you, you can now live above sin. You may be thinking, Oh, I know these things; I have read them before. But you need to understand that the renewal of the mind is a process, like when you wash a stained cloth, you have to use the right tool to wash it, and you have to keep washing it because you will keep using it, which also means you have to be careful of how you use it. While you’re renewing your mind with God’s word, you need to keep track of the kinds of contents that appeal to your mind. They can be sexually arousing comedy skits or movies on social media or TV, sexually arousing conversations from friends around you, or even sexually stimulating beverages and food. You have to stay clear of such and retrain your mind to desire more edifying habits like preaching the gospel, reading school, career, or Christian books, and engaging in spiritual activities with other church members.
The above instructions are a general biblical approach to overcoming sinful habits. The length of time this process will take depends on you and not God; it depends on how ready you are to yield your body as an instrument of righteousness by first controlling what you feed your mind. You need to control what you feed your thoughts and what you think about to be able to control the actions that you produce. Also, I would typically encourage you to be accountable to someone on this journey. You can reach out to your discipler, pastor, or me at victor.ojo@charisfolks.org for further counseling and guidance.
So next time the opportunity to masturbate comes, break out of the lustful thoughts by saying to yourself “I am dead to sin and alive to God; I cannot commit this sin”. Then move away from your closet to the public if it is possible in that instant. If not, get up and pray. Replace that lustful action with a spiritual one. So don’t pray and fast to break free from sin because you are already dead to sin if you are a believer; rather, pray and fast while meditating on scriptural truths that affirm your deliverance from sin to get your mind renewed and eventually be transformed.
May God grant you wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Christ so that you will become deeply acquainted with your new creation identity and that your experiences will align accordingly. Amen.
